Monday, January 24, 2011

Anchors Away.

Whenever I'm stressed, or I need to think about a decision, I have to go to a wide, open space.  I can't think in my room or talk it out with someone.  I like to drive as high up as I can.  As far up on top of the mountains here in Pennsylvania as the roads can permit. I find something so calming, so inspiring about it. I feel as if everything's at peace, even for just a moment. What do you do when you need time to think?

I wanted to write, I've been feeling rather paralyzed lately. Whenever there is something unpleasant that crosses my mind, my whole body freezes up. I can't get through my own wall.  And usually, I'd welcome this, but I can't block out everything. We all know what happens when we do that. 

So enough of trying to be stressed out, let's talk about lighter subjects. I think I really want to get a hip dermal (piercing of your skin by the hips). Did anyone ever get that done? I've been looking up pictures of it, and I know someone at school who got it done. It looks hot. I've been itching to get another piercing, but I don't really want them anywhere that they can be seen like on my head. So no more ears, and I'm not the type to have anything on the face. So hip seems pretty stealth right now. Thoughts?
Also I've become obsessed with skins on mtv. Everyone I know, however, says that it either sucks or is too racy. Too racy? Are you kidding me? You can access anything you want on the internet, and really it's just people using tongue. No nudity, of course sex is implied, but when isn't it? It's unlike any show I've ever seen, and it's refreshing. How pissed are you when Gossip Girl is on and they only show the first quarter of a scene, and the rest they just talk about. Skins gives you that extra other scenes that you don't get to see anywhere else. No inhibitions. Love it. Thoughts?

Loves, I'll talk to yous tomorrow. I haven't written in almost a week, and again I was just stressed out. I'm weird, when I'm stressed, I get pissed. So this pissed me off, too. I piss me off lol is more like it. <3 Sweet dreams.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Balls to the Freaking Wall

But really, have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air? How about even just your arms? Maybe you've thrown them up in frustration when in a heated argument, or perhaps around a person when giving them one of those longing hugs? What about just throwing your arms up for you? For the sake of freedom?

It's an exhilarating feeling. Gathering all your energy tucked inside your chest and those little limbs, and then feeling it squeeze all together. Then, you just let loose - throw your arms up as high as you can. Up, down, across. Let something go, bring something in. It can be anything you want it to be. I guarantee you'll feel better. Do it just for the sake of being alive. Everything will rush into and out of you. 

Today for me has been about letting go, just throwing it all out the window. I was nervous today about going to my first yoga class (I'm GAD, psht don't judge ;) ), then about sitting next to the boy I've been hooked on in class, and then about talking to my dad. They might not seem stressful to you, but these little daily activities all spike my nerves. Today, however, I just said Jamie - Balls to the freaking wall.  And just went on with it. Went on confident instead of being worried. Just letting it all go. It's easier at sometimes then others, and today was one of those days. Who knew ditching the self-pity could be so freeing? 

I think that's my new favorite phrase - Balls to the wall. Has power behind it, and a drive. It's almost as good as 'I got this!' Have you done anything today that was brave of you? Have you had to say, balls to the wall for yourself :)?

And tomorrow I'm going to go in with the same attitude, let's hope lol. Love you sweets <3


Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Pillow Talking

 Before I go to bed. That's the time for me. The time when I feel the most insecure. During the day, when I'm around people, it's easier to keep up a better attitude. At night, however, for me I feel like I'm just left with myself. That's when those little thoughts begin to trickle in my mind, 'What are you doing with your life?' 'You're not good enough.' 'Not strong enough.' 

And I used to think those thoughts were true. I still have those moments when I do. Sitting here, upright and mind in sight, I know that they are all the wrong kinds of falsities. Deceptions and doubts thrown in by the scared little girl that's somewhere inside me. But just because I have these doubts, as I'm sure all of you do, doesn't mean that's who I am. Too often of times, I fall into the self-pity. It's so tempting, my mind eases right into it, like a bad habit. 

We can be our toughest critics. Harshly, we throw in our thoughts about our actions and words we have spoken through the day. I will go so far as to even say most of us have a distorted picture of ourselves. We paint a rough picture, one that's cracked. It's not the true us. We are beautiful. We don't have to listen to that doubtful, inner voice. "You are given this life because you are strong enough to live it." That's proof right there. You are here for a reason.

Join me tonight as I'm going to try and bring out the confident person inside me. Instead of over-analyzing and being way to critical, I'm going to tell myself 3 things: I'm beautiful, I'm strong, and (of course) I got this. Because I do, we all do. It's in us.

I needed to talk myself into some encouragement. This snow day I had here in PA has restricted me to being mostly indoors and in one place, I much more like freedom to go as I please without all the icy conditions. I've been left with my thoughts a lot, so here's to pushing them aside! Woot! And tomorrow morning I get to ease into the day with some yoga class, I'm pretty excited. 

Tell me loves, what do you think about before you go to sleep?
xoxo Jamie

Monday, January 17, 2011

Paging Dr. Drake

The worst thing a person can try to do is self-diagnose themselves.  Google has become the enemy in that way. You have a cold, a suddenly you think you have meningitis. Your leg feels a little tingly, and suddenly you have a blood clot. Or you have been feeling down in the dumps lately, but this morning you've been feeling alright, Google tells you that you have bipolar disorder.

Google really isn't to blame. It's our paranoid self. We look for something that ceases our worries. We want to believe what we find is true. Am I the only one that does that? The only one that tries to self-diagnose through search engines and medical websites? I take one small symptom, like a scratchy throat, and turn it into full blown gonorrhea.  And if I've gotten gonorrhea, who's to say that I haven't contracted AIDS? An hour later and I'm wondering if anyone will give a eulogy at my funeral. Thoughts are like children running with pinwheels. They are bursting with energy themselves, but then there's even the more inner workings. Conjuring up more misfortunes and doubt. I'll figure this out someday when I'm a psychologist.

But back to my point, and I made this point in my last point. We like to channel our emotions somewhere. It's uncomfortable for us to just leave lingering worries and frustrations out in the open, we feel the need to pinpoint them somewhere. This is probably not everyone though, some people are complacent enough to say 'Ah, well, who cares, I'll figure this out eventually.' If your like me, we are paranoid. It's weird, I'm laid back and paranoid. Calm and crazy haha.

Do you guys ever do this? It's a downfall of mine, I'm always trying to figure out what's wrong. I feel like I'm being a downer, we need some positive posts right? This is for encouragement for anxiety, so guys, we got this. Even when things are down, we got this. Success in numbers, we're not alone, you're not alone. Such a banality, but I can't deny the empowerment behind it. Words are just that - words. But sometimes the sounding and putting together creates such an emotion. It's like how some people command their dogs using the German language - because it's more forceful. That's how some phrases are. 'We Got This' is one of my favorites, or when I'm alone 'I got this.' It's confidence.

Have a good Monday, were supposed to get a lot of ice and freezing rain here, so HOPEFULLY classes are canceled. I'm still in the process of figuring out my schedule lol, a trial that will never end I feel. Talk to you's tomorrow :) xoxo Jamie.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Shatter A Glass Vase.

Sick, blah, blah, blahhh. I probably cough on every other word I'm writing. I feel like my head is a balloon. And I'm coming up with some insane word vomit. It's one of those days where I want everyone just to shut up. Everyone that's texting or talking, I just want to be like shut up, no one cares. I'm angry and panicky today. An odd combination of the bunch. A frustrated rage filled panic lady on the loose. I would very much like to go kick-boxing or break like a glass vase, something along those lines. Except my energy is to drained to do so.

It's weird, sometimes I think I'm the most insane inept person on the planet, and then on days like today I feel like I'm the only one with a head. Optimism has escaped me for a little while. There's something strange about being pessimistic I've realized, it makes you feel more real, in the moment. I think because when you're being pessimistic, it's because you truly feel like shit at the moment. Bad things can sometimes come more frequently then the good things, and they're more easy to attain. We like to predict what's attainable, what likely will happen. We like to have somewhere to channel our negative energy and thoughts. It's more comfortable that way. When your down, it's sometimes hard to be optimistic. It can feel like a dream because things are so far in the opposite direction. Optimism is a good thing though, it's an escape, a hope.

I don't want to attribute 'not caring' or more vulgarly, 'not giving a fuck', to pessimism, but it does flow that way. But I guess I can say the same for optimism, too. When you're optimistic, you don't care what other people think sometimes. I guess it's split right down the middle, 50/50. But where does that leave me, I feel like I'm stuck right in the middle. Paralyzed. Not necessarily thinking about the bad or the good, just stuck in the middle. Is there a word for that? Middlistic? Paralystic? Paralystic sounds good. I'm paralystic.

This is my mood, and now I'll need to pull myself out. I feel like I'm at the bottom of a well and I need to climb up a rope. The struggle. I sound so pathetic, trust me I'm aware. I'm going to go shower now, blast some music. Watch some movies that can cause a good cry. Perhaps Titanic?

Another reason I feel Paralystic - I can't cry. I used to be able to think about things and just have a good cry, and now I can't. Even when I feel so down, tears abandon me. A weird thing.

Have a good Saturday night, bloggies. What are your plans? The only shots I'll be taking tonight are shots of nyquil. Love yous - Jamie.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

I Can't Describe I've Got, Hungry Eyes.

Flirting eyes, but they're just a disguise. For me they roam, but you've got someone at home.

Men. Why do they have to be such, ugh, MEN?!

Let me explain. So, earlier this week in class, I came across a familiar face. Last year, we both had positive psychology together, but we never talked. But on Monday, right after class, he gave me his number and we started talking. First, let me tell you, he is so sexy. Medium height, muscular, but not too muscular. Great hair, beautiful face, and he's in a freaking band. A band! How could I resist, right? Oh wait, it get's better, he sings and plays guitar. And he seems really down to earth.

As I was saying, we started talking. He asked me pretty much what my favorite everything was, and it was kind of like a 20 questions thing we had going on. In between we'd exchange flirty messages and him telling me he wants to hang out and such. So we're at the point where he was like, "you'll have to teach me the little you know on the piano" and I responded with, "only if you teach me to play the guitar" and he came back with "oh, i'll teach you things ;)"

So what do you make of that? Obviously some sexual innuendos flowing right there. I told him, "Oh really, I'd like that. But behave yourself, rockstar :)" So we continue bantering, and then sometime later he asks if I had a boyfriend. I said no, that I'm single, and how about him. He goes, yeah, I have a girlfriend, we're on and off all the time. I asked some questions about her, and he answered. But then he goes right back to the playful banter. I kind of was more less playful after that, wouldn't you be?

Don't you think it's kind of weird that he kind of just ignored the whole girlfriend thing? Like it's completely normal to be flirting with a girl while you have someone else?

He's hot, but I'd never want to be the 'off-time' fling. I never want to be 'that girl'. Maybe I'm rushing things, but I wasn't just getting a 'pal' vibe. But seriously, come on. I wouldn't want my boyfriend to be going around talking and asking to hang out with other girls. It just came as a little surprise. Boys are dicks, but not all. So I was already prepared, but hopeful.

And it's only been 3 days, and I have to spend the whole semester with him now. I'd rather just limit it to friends now. No flirting, just pals. But he is so sexy, but I can hold myself back lol.

But bloggies, what do you think of this whole situation? Think he's just looking for a fling on the side? And tell me, Has a boy with a girlfriend ever come on to you? What did you do?

If so, the foundation of the 'fantasy relationship' you will embark on will be definitely rocky. Guess what, though. I'm going for sushi in about 16 hours! Woohoo! I love it lol, and so healthy. Sticking to the healthy food these days, ya know.

Hope you had a lovely hump day, my dears. I'll talk with yous tomorrow <3

Monday, January 10, 2011

Oh, You're Making Me Blush!

In my one psychology class today, we had to do a brief introduction of ourselves - hometown, what we did over the break, and something interesting about ourselves.  And as I told my interesting thing about myself, I blushed.  I don't usually blush often, but today I literally felt it on my face. It felt hot, and it wasn't that because I was embarassed (I don't think) it was because I made others laugh, and it made me feel modest. Only a theory though, thus begins my research on blushing!

By the way, the interesting thing I told everyone was that I long to be a foot model (not those sexual fetish ones, ew, but like for sandals, lotion, etc) or a hand model.  I even began to research agencies, and took some pictures. It seems like a great back-up plan if psychology doesn't work out, and they do bring in the money haha. However, most agencies want long fingers and feet. And me, a whopping 5 foot young lady, only has a size 5 foot and a size 4 ring. But I'm not discouraged yet, I have nice feet, I'd like to think lol.

But onto the blushing! As you probably know already from experience, you can't control blushing. If we could, then it probably wouldn't exist. If you've ever read the Twilight series, you would know that the character Bella always blushing, but her sexii vampire, Edward, thinks it's attractive. I agree with Edward, it's a cute little gesture. But it gives you away sometimes, like if your telling a lie. But blushing is a whole lot more than just the blood rushing to your cheeks, it's a social cue.

It has been shown that in a situation when a person blushes, it turns the whole situation around.  People tend to pick up on the person's blushing, and become more empathetic and calmer in response.  It sends out the message that the bashful person cares about what's going on in a situation, and people subconsciously respect that.  Let me throw out a situation: Sally accidentially broke Jill's curling iron. As Sally was telling Jill about the incident, she blushed. This registers in Jills mind, and Jill could see that Sally truly cared about injuring her things.  It's a physiological notion of caring. Judgement changes, it shows you care about the interaction and about the other person. A blush without any words says a million.

"When a girl ceases to blush, she has lost the most powerful charm of her beauty" - St. Gregory the Great. 

I agree with that quote, it is charming. And I'm not quite sure who St. Gregory the Great was, but he was a saint and was 'Great', so we'll take his word for it. And if your sometimes socially anxious, I can relate in saying that blushing isn't always comfortable. But let's change all that. Blushing is beautiful. Why do you think us women apply blush to our cheeks? It's just one less job to do! So if you're the kind of person that reddens at the cheeks, you are wonderful! Blush on! Don't hide your face, let it glow!

So bloggies, what makes you blush?

Now I'm heading over to my guy friends to watch the national championship of something. Not too sure who's playing and whatnot, I've never been into football much. Unless it's Penn State. I will talk to yous tomorrow :) Happy Monday!

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Being is Belonging

Snow, snow, snow. I truly love you, but you ruin my Saturday nights, well, half of it.  I can't visit my friend because the roads are icy and covered, so that's out. BUT REDEMPTION! Now I'm going to my guy friends to party with a bunch of people, which should be fun. This kid I always hook up with is going to be there. It's weird, though. It's like were just not meant to be together.

We were never single at the same time, and then when we were, my other friend liked him and cried for days when I had hooked up with him at a party. In my defense, I was really drunk. But yeah, actually that's not much of a defense. So I don't know what's going to happen tonight, I'm optimistic. I feel like I belong with this crew of people, that they care.

I have been thinking so much today about what belonging means.  I think it's where e you're accepted, people like you for you. They care about what you're doing, and they want to include you in their plans. Just hearing that makes me feel better, you know me, I over-analyze EVERYTHING. But tonight I feel like I won't have to. That's what I feel like a group of friends should be about, just being able to be comfortable.

It's everywhere else where I don't feel like I belong. I feel like I could if I could just get this damn guard down, it won't let up. I won't let up, I should say. I don't know what I'm afraid of.

Have you ever just been one on one with someone, having a good time, and then suddenly you become aware of yourself? You become aware of the situation, and suddenly you feel out of place. That happens to me a lot. I'll be laughing with one of my friends, then I'll just clam up. It's so weird. That's what I need to work on - never being aware. Because if you think about it, the times where your having the most fun, you're never analyzing yourself of thinking about your flaws. You just are. Being. Being and belonging. For some reason though, I always pull back, I begin to think what the other person is thinking. I'm trying to work on it, but it's so hard to not be aware when you are aware that you should not be aware. You know what I mean?

One of my favorite quotes is, "The day you start worrying about what people think is the day you stop living." It's 100% true. The new journey I'm taking on is to stop thinking, learning to completely be me and live in the moment.

So tell me bloggies, "Where do you belong?"

Sometimes I feel like I belong in the mental ward lol. But thanks to the last post, no more self-pity and loathing. So I belong here, in life, with everyone else. The anxiety is the tag-a-long, that of which can be overcome.

That was my self-encouragement segment haha. I will talk to you tomorrow, have a super sexii slamming smashing Saturday nyght. Love yous - xo Jay-Mee. 

Thursday, January 6, 2011

From Broadway to Psychology to Waitressing

Remember how I was telling you all how I am a complete starstruck person when it comes to famous people? Well, listen to this one, it's another embarrassing account of me coming in contact with a celebrity haha. I was at the NBC studios yesterday, and who is there doing an interview but Kathie Lee Gifford! From Regis and Kathie Lee!! (that deserves a double exclamation point) So I had my camera out, hoping to get a picture. But then the rest happened so fast. She walked by me, and I completely froze. I mumbled 'Oh my gosh' and I just touched her jacket. Very lightly, she didn't even notice and she continued saying hi to everyone and smiling as she walked to wherever she was going.  At least I know I wasn't the only crazy person there, there was this one girl who had a sign and was screaming. So another encounter to write in the books lol, I really need to work on it.

Irrelevantly, I've been thinking about who I want to become. Or, where do I want to end up in life.  This question probably takes up the subconscious thinking of my brain 95% of the day. That's how it feels, anyway. I feel like I'm constantly thinking.  I tried talking about this with my dad the other day, and he was all like 'Jamie, I can relate. I'm not sure whether I want to switch pharmaceutical companies or not'. And while that's stressful, no doubt, it is not relate-able.  I wanted to shout back, 'At least you know what your doing with your life! At least you know that you are in sales and that's where you want to be.  At least you know who you are.'  I'm not saying he doesn't have hard times, too, but it just made me mad. I don't even know what I'm doing 6 months or where I'll even be after this summer. I was annoyed.

Some days I want to live in the city and wish I could be a Broadway star.  Then, it changes to me being a successful psychologist with a published book. Other days, I'm a make-up artist in a salon, doing fancy eyes with glitter. Then, I'm a nurse, always comforting. Flash again to a stay-at-home mom, with 3 children playing in our home out in the country side. The next day, that same picture perfect family but living in the hustle and bustle of a big town, and then back to a small one. Another hour and then I yearn to be a waitress with a group of tight girlfriends, going home to a husband trying to pay the bills paycheck-to-paycheck. It always changes.

And that's just a long term future, what I envision in ten years. I could write a book on what I can see myself or wish I can do until the next semester. And although I know the thought shouldn't worry me, I'm supposed to not know yet, it does. It stresses me out so much, and I can't help yearning to know what I want to truly do.  Again, it's my never ending quest. And yes, I know I'm being silly. I believe I have this outside ability to be able to look at myself and say 'Jamie, your being ridiculous sometimes.' But that just doesn't seem to change the way I feel. Tell me, bloggies, What do you see yourself being?

So now my thing is going to stop feeling sorry for myself. Self-pity is a terrible crutch that I have. Self-pity and self-loathing.  I'm not the most encouraging of myself. But now I want to try and change that. It's time to learn to be not only positive about the future, but myself included. I don't know why but this makes me anxious, just throwing that out there lol, I can feel it in my chest.

Irrelevantly again, it's snowing here, and that's why I home early from my friend's house.  Of course, we had to watch Jersey Shore.  So much drama just in the first episode, but I loved it haha. But there's one thing I don't get.  Everyone builds up the 'C-word', or cunt, to be such a big deal.  Like why is there so much power behind that one word? Deena called Sami it, and I was like so what? No one cared when people were throwing around 'hateful slut' or 'trashy bitch'.  Granted it's still not a nice thing to say, but where is the power coming from? What's so different from 'cunt' from 'vagina' or 'pussy'? (Excuse my words lol) What makes that so offensive compared to other vulgar terms, you know?

The Situation did crack me up tonight, like seriously how could you not like the guy haha. But now I'm going to wait and see if some sort of 'real housewives' is coming on next on Bravo, great shows. Goodnight loves, hope your day was lovely. Talk to you tomorrow <3 xoxo Jamie.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Empire State of Jamie

Concrete jungle where dreams are made of, there's nothing you can't do, now you're in New York <3 Well, I'm not there yet, but I will be by say 3 this afternoon.  I haven't been in the city in a couple of years, and when my Dad said that he has a meeting there, I jumped at the chance to go. I hope the tree and all is still up, I've always wanted to see it around the holiday.

And so I'm nervous, too.  Being in big places always does that to me.  But I have to push through this, I'm thinking of this as a step in the new year. We only decided to go after arguing about me going to Philadelphia tonight with my girl friends, we were going to stay and my friend's boyfriends house.  It was short notice though, I only found out this morning and we were going to leave in an hour. But then New York came along and I couldn't pass that up.

When I was talking to my Dad though, he just goes "You're out there, you know that?" I replied to him, "You think I don't know that?" It kind of was a slap in the face coming from him, but it is true, I have been 'out there' lately. He's referring to yesterday when I drove a half hour away to take picture of these giant windmills. They were beautiful, though. It's a little strange, I agree, but that's me. And look at the amazing photo I got:

Even for that one photo out of a million I took, it was worth it. I love it.

And lately I've just been trying to decide who I really am. Am I the girl that was raised in a small town where the guys were jocks and the girls were cheerleaders? Or am I something more, more artsy, more deep. It's so confusing, discovering yourself when you've only been around one type of people your whole life. Even my college is small, and just more of the run of the mill people with the same stereotypes that I came from. It must be a Pennsylvania thing. My trip to New York hopefully puts me in a different mindset.

So I better shower since I'm leaving in less than an hour, talk to you tomorrow bloggies<3 xoxo Jamie.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

I'm not paralyzed, but I seem to be struck by you.

A big weight off my shoulders last night after I posted. So much of a relief, I couldn't even fall asleep until almost the sun was up because it just had my mind reeling. I finally figured out what's been holding me back, what has held me in a stand-still. It's the fear of rejection.

I've been reading the book "Feel the Fear... And Do It Anyway" (which by the way is excellent so far) and it has really brought some of my truer feelings to light.  It explained fears and how they affect us. Rejection was spot on for me. Of course, everyone has some sort of fear of rejection.  But I feel mine has grasped a hold of my life.  I realized now that I close myself off, shut other people out, and ultimately paralyze my feelings because I'm afraid that people won't accept me or talk about me behind my back or think unflattering thoughts about me.

I feel like there's two people inside of me. Like one Jamie is the shut off person who comes off as being socially awkward and reserved, and then there's the Jamie who's like yelling at the other one saying "What's wrong with you? Be yourself!" I literally FEEL the guard up when I'm meeting new people for the first time.  And I don't know exactly how to let it down. I don't know how to STOP thinking and stop fearing that people won't accept me. But it's weird, even people who have already accepted me and some who are my best friends I can throw a guard up around. So something tells me that it has developed on it's own, well, developed more outwardly.

Like last night I was with my best friend who I've been friends with since kindergarten. And everything was going so fun until I started to become aware of myself. Instantly, self-doubt flooded me.  My feelings were paralyzed, I felt even literally stiff. And for what reason? I don't know. It makes my chest feel hard. It makes me not who I truly am.

Although I have accepted that anxiety and fear is apart of who I am, it makes me me.  And I am thankful for it, it drives me. It has made me make decisions and thrown me into a major I wouldn't have thought of. But when it comes to starting to change how I act and when it makes me limit myself, that's when I know things have to change. Something isn't right.

So I'll continue my quest for now the solution or way of dealing with this fear of rejection. Have you ever felt fear of being rejected? How did you handle it?  

A more deeper post today. I've been feeling rather deep and emotionally in touch more lately. Most likely due to all this talk about reinvention with the New Year. It puts a perspective on things. I don't measure a year January-December though, I usually measure it in terms of school years. Does anyone else do that? Like when I think of July, I'm not like, 'Oh, last year' but when I think of May I do. So according to that calendar, my new year should be in August haha. Maybe I'll celebrate both. Hey, getting through 6 months in college is something to celebrate in my book, at least :)

I'll talk to you tomorrow, lovies. Sweet January dreams, xoxo Jamie.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Dive into YES!

2011. New year, new me.  I love it, a fresh start. A clean chapter. And I'm sure all of you have considered the same thing. I can say I'm so thankful, it truly does seem like anything is possible in the next year. It's like an open book, and we get to write the story.

Of course, this triggers some anxious feelings for me. I'm always struck with the questions 'What if I make the wrong decision?' or 'What if things don't go as I want them too?' or 'What if I don't do enough, what if I let myself down?' Now that I have written all of my fears, I'm now going to say, who the heck cares? Like I said before, it's time to live and make mistakes. To laugh and to cry. But I have finally realized somethings been holding me back, whether it be fears or just utter laziness. So I'm going to introduce to you..

The Year of Yes.  'Yes' moves people forward. 'Yes' changes things and starts life.

Too often in the past year I have caught myself saying 'No, I don't feel like it' or 'No, I don't want to.' But this year, I want all of that to change. No more sitting around, 'Yes', it's time to take action. 'No' keeps you at a standpoint, it freezes you in time. It causes indecisiveness and holds you back. No matter what, 'Yes' changes you. It says 'we are moving ahead.' And that's exactly what I need in my life, more of YES.  It's time to let go of inhibitions and run free. Run into yes. Yes is positive. And Yes, I can. It's about doing things that I and you want, and about doing things we don't feel like doing because we're afraid or simply are lazy. This year, it's going to change.

I came across this quote on another person's blog (I'm sorry, I can't find who's it was again :( But if it came from you, please tell me and I'll credit you in the next blog!) and it has completely changed my view on the next year. How lucky was I to come across it. It means so much.

"Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics. Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say no. But saying “yes” begins things. Saying “yes” is how things grow. Saying “yes” leads to knowledge. “Yes” is for young people. So for as long as you have the strength to, say “yes'."

So who's with me? Who want's to dive into 'Yes'? Again, I'm nervous as anything, but I'm ready. Keeping the faith of God and myself, and I'm ready. Embracing the fear and turning into action! Let's do this :)

Another one of my goals is just to make everyday count. It's so cliche, but it's true. I want to feel like I put myself into each day. I can do this. We can do this.

I love you, bloggies. What does this year mean to you? I'd love to hear your thoughts and theories! I will talk to you all tomorrow <3 Hope you all had a great new year! Jamie xoxo.