Monday, August 23, 2010

Woohoo, first day.

So here I am. Really anxious at the moment. I apologize to the thousands of you (yeah, okay) that read this.  I'm so weird. Like I look at it, and then when I see that I don't write in it, I get annoyed.  And then I don't want to look at it.  It's kind of like a homework assignment, but an optional one.  I never really did extra credit, but this I need to do.

Mostly cause I hear it's good to get your feelings out. Out of my head and onto this blog, where you can take it as you like.  But anywho, classes for me started today.  I had a good first day, but there is something I realized about myself.  I am absolutely terrified of any sort of change.  I want things to be the same.  I'll try something new, and then I'll revert back to my old self.  I'll then proceed to make excuses, and then rationalize it in my head.  I really don't like this about myself.  How am I ever going to move on like this, in this frame of mind? Any suggestions?

On another note, I've decided that jealousy just isn't going to be apart of me anymore.  Well of course except like, I'm jealous of Colin Farrel's girlfriend because he's so hot.  But like of everyday people in my life.  Everytime a jealous thought creeps up, I'm just going to picture them happy, and then be happy for them.  Love others instead of envy, I learned that in my catholic high school.  God will help me through this.

This post probably sounds like one giant mess, but that's whats in my head.  Thank you all for reading, and I will try and post tomorrow. <3 Jay.

1 comment:

  1. I stumbled across your blog & am going to list it on mine.. so make that 4 followers!

    Getting out your feelings is soo therapeutic. As is change. :)