Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Optimism, realistically?

Hello, one and all. Or six and all. I say six because 2 of the followers of this blog are myself, and I didn't think it was possible. But hey, who's looking right.

Today's discussion is on optimism.  Generally, I try to be an optimistic person.  Sometimes it comes so easily, you know. It's those days where you wake up and you feel on top of the world.  Which brings me to another point, the morning, the AM.  Something about the morning to me is always like (corny, I know) magical.  I always feel like anything can be accomplished, that I can do what ever I want.  But then by the night, I'm just like fml.  I don't exactly know when this transition occurs, but it does. Usually every day, it's a whirlwind, but then again I'm sure you can all relate. We all have these constant ups and downs.

But there's one part I don't understand. I feel like my optimism is fake. When I'm by myself and really looking inward, I'm terrified. After reasoning it out, I can say that God will make things okay. I just want that optimistic feeling all the time.  It sounds selfish, but I can't help but wonder why.  Another thought I had is like the little person inside you, the real you. It's the one that feels every emotion, and I can picture mine.  It takes every emotion with such passion, and it does things I'm afraid to do. When I'm tearing up, the person inside me is wailing.  And when I'm happy with a little smile, inside I'm beaming. So I wonder what that means. Is it the person I am or the person I wish I was? A combination of both perhaps.

I wish I was more outward. Again a curious blog.  But you are my diary, deal with it.  I always want to talk to more people. I loveee communication, the art and just talking.  I just am so nervous. I don't know why, any advice?

So that's my ramblings. Thank you for listening and keep yourself tuned in, luh yas <3


  1. It's hard to be entirely optimistic, and I don't really feel like anyone is.
    Everyone is going to have their doubts, and at some point it will get the best of them. You're thing that makes these doubts okay is God, and you just always have to count on that to be there for you.

    By the way, I'll follow you, starting now. :]

  2. Yeah, I get what you mean. I'm usually pretty upbeat during the day, but as soon as it gets dark and I'm by myself, that all goes by the wayside. I think that's a bad time for a lot of people.